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Planting Poetree Seeds

The beginning and end of the journey home

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Bitches be crazy

February 9, 2019

I am in Nepal…

Where patriarchy reigns and storms…

And still it is so easy to see the feminine motherly force that is really running the show… while singing, laughing and loving along the way.

And it is so easy to see that western ‘white’ women, with all of our power and privilege, are possibly the most personally disempowered people… and this is the source of so many problems in the world.

How did the divine source of life and love get diminished down to an empty shell?

There is an insidious sickness sweeping the world that is seeping into every crack it can… that is trying to reign over mother earth, mother ocean, and the divine feminine… and that is a parasite to her power. In a way we are a part of and perpetuating this sickness… and we also have the power to heal it in the world by healing it in ourselves.

I know this because I have been fighting this sickness my whole life. I was born into it. I saw straight through it as soon as I could see. I saw it in my own mother… and I tried to hide from it. I saw women carrying the wounds of the world in their womb… I saw them holding onto them like they were their children… I saw them told and sold so many old sad stories… and I saw the resulting sickness… and it made me sick.

I since have seen to the other side. I see my truest self as a divine, loving, caring, compassionate mother. I see this side of me heals all wounds. I see this side of me makes everything so easy.

Yet it is in constant conflict with a side of myself that makes everything so hard and hurtful. This side is so far from being in relationship with the source that it doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. It is so far from the source of love that it acts from a lack of and need for love rather than from an infinite, flowing, free source of love. It is so far from the source of light that it lurks in the shadows. It is so far from the source of power that it gives away its power. It is so far from the source of truth that it disguises itself in the lies it tells itself. It is so stuck in its untrue stories that it retells every version of them. It sells its soul, heart, mind and body to the lowest bidder. It is always fighting a losing battle. This other side that isn’t truly me is crazy. It is a certain sort of scattered craziness that is where the concept of a ‘crazy bitch’ comes from.

Usually the truest self and truest heart and truest love wins… but when it loses, I lose myself, and I get so lost in the darkness… and I am still finding my way and learning how to see.

Now I see clearly that the only cure for this sickness is unconditional love… and all the hate that we feel for ourselves and others and that calls ‘crazy bitches’ is cut from the same cloth as this sickness and spreads it. The only way out is to open ourselves up and fill ourselves up and overflow…. to love ourselves and each other and the mother… to start a new cycle of being love, being loved, and being lovers.

While in a way this is being done to us, we are also doing this to ourselves. If we embraced and embodied our power we would win… everyone would win. Everyone we may blame especially needs our love… because they are our really unruly children. And we are the fiercely loving force of mother ocean… and we have seen what happens to her when she is poisoned and polluted… she rises up and becomes more powerful than ever.

There is no other
Force stronger than the mother
The source of life and love for us all
There is no way this may be small
It all flows into the ocean
The divine feminine
It’s time for us to sink or swim
When women win
We all win
And just when we think the world is burning
And the earth is quaking
The tide is turning
And sleeping women are waking

#I apologize for the title of this post